Anew

I had a conversation recently that struck me pretty hard in the face, and it made me realize something: I have forgotten who I am.

Kind of a crap ton of bricks in a bag thrown across the face, eh?

I remember my name. And I remember my birthday and semi-important facts like that, sure. But over the last two years, I have lost myself. So really it isn’t so much a forget, but a loss.

Which in reality, it is probably both.
Both lost and forgotten

Me. Who is me? Who am I? What do I stand for? What do I value? What do I like? What makes me, me??
Where am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? 
WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!

For a time I had struggled with that, but I was still able to understand the basic meanings. I could walk into a room and be confident. I could walk in, totally unknown to everyone and to the situation, take it by the seams and understand. I could take it and run with it. Pun intended. I was able to find success and happiness. It was attractive for other people. I attracted like minded people and wanted to be with them. And we had ideas and plans and lives to live. 

I was confident in my beliefs, in my morals, in my values. And then… 

Honestly, I don’t know what happened. I started to let it all slide. I began to question everything I was doing and who I was acting like, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. I was changing and I was not stopping myself.

Before I go into way too much detail and information (OVERSHARE), I will just jump ahead.

I decided to just BE HAPPY. I know, novel concept right?

Well I made a list. What are things that make me happy? What are things that make me unhappy?

So simply the conclusion becomes: get rid of the unhappy. There is no reason to be so. Everyday you get up and be is a good day. 
Everyday you wake up is a day to be thankful.

While it is really, really scary sometimes, you have to take the risk and hope for the reward. And if it doesn’t come today, it will one day.

Here is to the unknown. Here’s to the scary and the unknown, and be gone unhappy. Smile. It’s catching.