Making : Coffee!! Got a new job, learning the ways around espresso. I get to drink coffee everyday. This could be bad.
Cooking : Veggies. I am in love with vegetables lately. I have them at every meal. I crave them now. A little bit of black pepper to taste sometimes, but otherwise, fill the bowl.
Drinking : Dirty Chai. It's a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso. Sometimes I put a little flavor to "spice it up" but I just like it. It is my fall and winter drink go to. Try it!
Reading: Joyce Carol Oates, We Were the Mulvaneys. I have to slowly go through it though. I've been trying to knock it out, but there are times I have to take my time. The detail in her words, although she is succinct, depth and meaning comes from the profound and unfathomable layers.
Wanting: A hug. Not really from everyone in particular. Well, maybe someone or a few someones, but just a big giant hold me tight for a good 45 seconds. And you better be warm. And smell good. I'll take more than one!
Looking: At art. I miss my trip to D.C. and the National Gallery, even though it is shutdown currently, I would love to go exploring again. And it doesn't have to be in our own country. Another one would be kind of neat too. It is just interesting to view Salvador Dali's The Last Supper in the elevator vestibule.
Playing: All kinds of new music. I am opening and broadening my horizons. Suggestions welcomed and appreciated.
Wasting: My time thinking. I think way too much. Sometimes, I we need to just act on it. Obviously you'll know if it is the wrong decision. And I don't want to harm anyone. But I wish that I would stop thinking and just do.
Sewing: I needed new buttons on my pea coat. So I bought these cool silver ones, and now I am slowly adding them to the coat. But I better get a little quicker. It is getting COOOOLLLLDDDD.
Wishing: I knew what was in store. I have so much going on sometimes, I feel like I need to take a beat and just sit in the moment. And understand life has a lot in store for me. I just have to be open to it.
Enjoying: Company. I actually went out and hung out with people. REAL PEOPLE. I know, I know, crazy right? But I am enjoying getting to know people, and learn new things and trying new things and in the process, learning more about myself. I am still full of butterflies always about everything. And my hands are still shaking, but my confidence is growing again. I am learning I don't have to pretend as much.
Waiting: For myself to make the next move. Just trying to figure out what that is.
Liking: Black and white movies. I've been watching them a lot lately. A good warm cup of tea, a big old quilt with memories tied, and a good Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, or Dick Van Dyke movie and I've got the perfect night. Sure it's better with company, but either way it is cozy.
Wondering: Where has the time gone? I feel like I'm still
Loving: The crispness of the fall mornings, which are quickly getting crispier. But those early morning runs with two of the most awesome people in the whole wide world, that's what I'm loving. They make getting up before everyone else, even the sun, the best. And the easiest. Even when we are doing hill repeats and I want to throw up. Even if we aren't meeting I know they are running and I get to be outside and see the stars and hear the silence of the morning. I get to crunch in the leaves before the wind blows them all away. And I get to experience my mornings instead of sleeping them away.
Hoping: My life would figure itself out. But I know I have to do that. :)
Marvelling: At the beauty of fall. I love the colors, the flavors, the richness that is fall in Spokane. The colors are just joyful to me. And a warm cup of cider doesn't hurt either.
Needing: A hug. It is a want and a need. So if you know anyone?? Or they could come with me on a camping trip, so I can turn off my phone for a while? And they can hug me when I get back. I don't want them to come I changed my mind. Just a hug when I get back. I need a little bit to shut down and reboot for a little while. It is not as great a need as it was a few weeks ago, it just should take place. Even though it is practically winter.
Smelling: PUMPKIN! And coffee. My new job is all about coffee, literally. Which is a lot of fun at the moment. I like getting off work and smelling that way. It is invigorating. And nice because I have always wanted lotion that smelled like coffee. I feel like guys would dig that, just a little bit.
Wearing: Flannel, flannel, and more flannel. I have a lot. And in different colors. OH! And sweaters. Scarves too. I like fall fashion. Layers are my best friends.
Following:
Noticing: How much happier I have become. I am still constantly hesitant about everything. And worried about judgement and the like, but I am happy. And it is slowly but surely building.
Knowing: I am going to be ok, no matter what. Whatever I decide to do, I will be ok and it will be what is best for me. I almost feel selfish making those decisions. I haven't done things for myself in a very, very long time. But I know now it is what keeps me safe, and sane for that matter. My life is guided and I just have to be willing to accept whatever comes my way and know that I can handle it. And I can be me.
Thinking: Of opportunity. I have been blessed with so many as of late, and I feel a little overwhelmed. It is funny that even when you feel like nothing is going your way or you aren't seeing the blessings before you, and then suddenly all of this comes to a head and you have an over abundance. And you still have no clue what to do.
Feeling: I am feeling so sore from everything! I am back running higher mileage again, which I love. And I am on my feet all day long, which I also love. And I AM DANCING! Pretty much everyday I find the time to do a little dance. I love it, but sometimes I bust a move a little too hard and well, I am sore for days. But a good sore.
Bookmarking: Gluten free recipes. Like a lot. And mostly pumpkin-based baked goods. It's fall. I want to eat them. All of them. Now. I just bookmarked a few more while getting distracted writing this post.
Opening: New doorways and new opportunities. And a lot of mail! I like mail. Some of it is stuff I asked for, like my new sleeping bag from REI. But some, like bills, are not exactly wanted. Can I go back to being a kid again?
Giggling: My face hurts from smiling. I haven't smiled this much in FOREVER. I love it. Thank you Lord and everyone involved in creating that on my face. Even the weird faces I make. 'Cuz you all know you love it too.
Feeling: Tired, but satisfied. I feel like I am on the go a lot lately, and I feel energized by it, but when it is time for bed, I am ready for that too! Just making sure to take care of myself. Tea and soup do wonders.
