Should I or Shouldn’t I? That was the question.
Alright. This is weird. So… I haven’t been running. I mean
literally, for a little over a month, I have not run a step. I did get one good
solid half hour, but that was followed by a lot of pain the next few days. So I
have been biking. But I haven’t gotten the same out of biking as I thought I
would. Just have not ever reached that euphoric state.
But let’s really face it. I haven’t been running well since
last summer. I think my last good, solid race and run was the weekend of Hood
to Coast last August. And it is May. Yes, I have run and raced in between, but
never really felt like myself.
I began to question things. Was I really a runner? Was I
doing everything I needed to do to be the best that I could be? The answer to
these questions, was two letters and a big ol’ slap in the face: NO.
I had made a promise. A commitment. And I was not about to
let my team down. Until the night before, when three separate people told me
not to run. Three people I deeply respect. So after an extremely long weekend
working the store and the trade show, I would not run. I was too tired. I was
too hurt.
I went through the motions. I got things ready, I supported
my teammates. And then I decided I had to race. If not race, at least run. I
had to start. I don’t know exactly what it was, but something deep within, or
maybe just right there in front of my face, said run.
So I started. I listened to every step, every breath, and
all I could do was smile. With each step I just made sure I kept my head up. I
kept smiling. I kept going. And I felt no pain.
It was my slowest time of the three I have ever run, but I
did it. I needed it. For my heart and for my head. It needed to be done. And
people may be mad. People may not understand, but sometimes you need to reach
out and do the implausible. Do the improbable and do the thing that your heart
wants the most. What it really needs the most.
So, who is ready for next year??
