Writer Wednesday: Coffee Date 1.7

Just a short little excerpt from something I have been working on. 

She wished she could have changed, or put on a little lipstick, or something. She felt dirty and messy. And he had dressed up for this. Maybe. He may have been on his way to work too. Who knows? Why today, kept wandering around in her head.

It was the sixth of January. The sky that morning had been crisp and damp, with little white snowflakes drifting downward onto her ski-capped head.

She had gotten up earlier that morning and had felt some kind of motivation. She climbed out of her warm bed, slipped on her dirty, worn running shoes and leapt out the door, layered and ready. The darkened streets had welcomed her though. No one was stirring and she raced through the neighborhoods with nothing on her mind. She floated and flew up and down the hills, like never before. Training partners were on their break and would be back next week. So these were her runs. She was still in her building phase, she would be for a while. Her fitness was improving daily, and she was just trying to keep it all going forward. The lights were her only followers along these early morning treks. Snow falling silently, but the beautiful crunch and crackling of the collection beneath her rubber soles was better than any pop hits radio station that morning. She missed the mockery and chitchat with her friends, but she passed the time listening to the sounds of the weather and the streets along the hill.

As her cadence slowed to a stop, rounding the bend in front of her little home on 18^th Avenue, she saw the paper had come. She liked those days, out before the sun, home in time for the paper.

She stomped her shoes a little harder, tamping the collected snow dust on her shoes. There was a little something extra on that paper this day, a little sandwich baggie chock full of red m’n’ms.

She reached down and picked up the paper and the bag. She looked around the block, wondering if she was the only one with this bag, even though she knew she would be the only one. How did he find her?

She had been trying to escape for a long time. She couldn’t get out of her town, but she had found others to help. Though they knew him, she found a newer life than the one she had had. She moved on as best she could, but it was taking it’s great time.

Rounding her way from behind the counter that day, she looked to her feet, seeing the coffee grounds running down her jeans and onto her shoes, she noticed the stains ever-present on her white v neck, and she saw her hands burned and cut from the hot water and steam.

How did he ever want this? She wondered to herself as she tried to avoid his eyes while placing the coffee in front of him.

“Let me know if you don’t like it, I can make it again, if you want.” She pulled the chair out across from him while sipping her own. “I changed my drink, so you can pay the extra later” as she sat down and savored the last little bit of hope she thought she might have.

“Gosh, I’ve missed that witty banter you always come at me with.”

Why would he say something like that? It caught her in the throat before she could swallow that first sip. Her heart skipped and her stomach fell past the floor. This was going to be a rough one. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this after all. Her head spun around looking for the guys or anyone. She saw her regulars glancing at her table wondering who this man was. They were all a protective lot, she never understood that.

 She had been wearing a ring on her left hand for quite sometime, she had taken it off for a while but then put something in its place later. So she popped that up every once in awhile, just to keep the joke alive.

She couldn’t tell if he were being sarcastic or not. She never could tell, especially the last couple months of their relationship. He had always said he was joking, but with him there was always a bit of truth to what he said.

So many mornings when they were working together, at her old job, they would run, dress and go down the street for coffee and pastries. And then they would make the walk to work.

Those mornings where they would go about their ways in quiet were her favorite. You would think that would be frustrating, but they had had their own silent language, him and her. Envious were those who observed these looks.

They could know what the other was thinking without having to ask. And they worked fluidly, switching places when they needed to, aiding in bringing out shoes, when one would sell, the other would ring it up, and vice versa keeping a clean work place and happy customers. For the longest time, their coworkers didn’t even know they were dating. No one knew, the worked so well together, and never brought the relationship to the forefront. The working rapport they had created actually gave them the idea for their own store.

Many names had been pondered and worked through, but finally they had come up with M & M Running Company. She would help with the business side, but be mainly on the floor and the event coordinator and eventually the club team coach. He always joked that she would be the face of the store, the “real boss” he would say. People would come in just to see her.

The empty storefront still stood, and whenever she ran in the U District she would eventually pass it along her route. It was still a stab in the heart when she saw it.

Inside 1.6

Recently, I had the privilege to make a few new friends. It was even before the New Year, so it was kind of a nice note to end 2013, a year of great struggle to find friendship actually. My last few months of the year were filled with absolute great blessing, truly.

Most recent, I was posed with questions from one of these newbies in my life.

Have any of you seen, Inside the Actor’s Studio. I have never really watched it, but have seen these questions before. Also something we should reinstate at camp this year? So much fun to answer these on a night we have just stayed up for hours practicing the skit, already run the mountain that morning, and just exhausted, the truth comes out full force, even in the hilarity.

OK, so I might have a problem keeping on track!

Back to it.

This person, started asking me some questions from this list. And we didn’t really get to finish. But I started thinking about the questions more and more. They are really good questions. And I feel my answers change day by day, so I wanted to write them down, to have a clearer view. (Side Note: We finished the questions a few days later.)

Just ten questions:

1. What is your favorite word? Omnipotent. I like the sound of it, either way you choose to say it. And the word is descriptive of so much, and my meaning always floats back to one. And this year, it will be present a lot in my life I am sure. And I am thankful for this.

2. What is your least favorite word? I dislike the word moist. I cannot say hate because that is such a strong word, and it is part of one of my resolutions to improve upon my vocabulary so I will not use hate. But I also have an aversion to fear as well. The word strikes an anxiousness that I never truly admit to. So there you go.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, emotionally? Passion, Integrity, Humor, Dedication, Humility, Loyalty, Understanding. A lot I know.

4. What turns you off? Negativity. I’m already negative towards myself enough. And am working to get out of that. Also, passive aggressivity.  Not really a word, but it is now.

5. What sound or noise do you love? The sound of falling rain and falling snow. And the crunching sound snow makes beneath you feet, a slight give and rumple beneath your shoes.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Whiney Crying, or that voice people get when they are complaining in the weird way.

7. What is your favorite curse word? Sh** would have to be a pretty good one (may have stolen that one from someone)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I would love to be an adventure guide, or a park ranger in Arches National Park.

9. What profession would you not like to do? Plumber. I just don’t know if I would have the gut to do the job. Get it? :)

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? First, heaven exists. And I would love God to just hug me, telling me He is glad to have me home. 

Scraps 1.4

They say it takes five hundred hours of practice to develop a positive habit. I have no idea who they are and how they found this out, but that’s the statistic.

And I don’t know how long I have been doing it, but I have developed this habit. I can tell you it has been more than five hundred hours. But I don't know if it is positive. Maybe... 

Normally, I have a notebook with me. Most times. At least in my car, if not in my bag or in my hand. I carry it for the hopeful ideas I may have; starting a business, writing a new blog post, or a workout for later in the week.

But sometimes, I never write in it. I will find a scrap of paper in the bottom of my bag, crinkled, torn, stained from whatever fell out and soaked everything at one point. It may have come from the edge of a receipt, or a previous note. I still find notes from my old jobs in the bottom of my backpack. First sign of a packrat is…

Then I have to find a pen. Or a pencil. I have resorted to etching into the paper with my nail, but it didn’t work well. I don’t think I could do blood. I get a little queasy. I have a assemblage of writing utensils. Some I have reluctantly purchased with the intent of using them for my precious notebooks. Some I have collected accidently, snagging them from restaurants, doctor’s offices, schools, but never from friends. Most of my friends would hunt me down for that pen. We writers are a crazy crew.

Finally after digging one out of the deep, societally acceptable gargantuan bag, I write down the thought in rushed anxious script before the fleeting ida vanishes off into the universe. Even with technology today, you would think I may have the wherewithal to keep the note in my phone, to be found later and then further written discourse in said notebook would take place. Come on, that actually makes sense. And since my life never makes sense, why would I do that then?

There is something to those scattered ideas that float in bottoms of bags and in back pockets I have sported. I try to remember the ideas, or the inspiration, which provoked them.  Truly. But I slide that slip of paper into that crevasse of a pocket, a chasm of notions, impressions, and dreams. Only to be found again after an unanticipated deep clean, dumping the bag while trying to find my misplaced debit card, or the ball that forms after a couple spin cycles on the jeans I had piled in the corner.

And when it is found again, I find new inspiration, the character the paper itself has now created in itself, beyond the words written on it. Its own being now. The edges frayed and torn, wrinkled over words you meant to remember. Yellowed from time, blurred and smeared now, the writings create a new. Starting the inspiration all over again. Let me find a piece of paper… 

Learning the Rhythm. 1.3

You learn things when you go home for the holidays.

This year. I learned A LOT.

I am definitely allergic to gluten.

Eating things filled with gluten even though you think they aren’t, but you really didn’t double check, because you did ask beforehand and you trust your friends enough to tell you, but maybe we all didn’t really know, will still result in getting REALLY sick. Like not able to eat Christmas dinner sick.

Anyways... 

People change. But the person that changes the most is yourself. I know, totally introspective right? (sarcastic coughing inserted here)

But here is the thing, do we really change? Or is it that we just become stronger in our values, morals, ethics, and beliefs? Are we more confident in them? Or for some, are we less confident, resulting in an outpouring of harsh comments, and rude statements about others behind their backs?

And as an aside, I have fully come to a realization which has freed me from the agony of wonder and worry, who cares what people say about you behind your back?

Most of what they say isn’t true, so why worry about it? Yes it is hard to hear things said about you, and hear them from people whom you thought had had your back at one point in time, but really, more than likely it isn’t true, and if you know the truth why bother with anything else? If what they are saying is true, then you have a problem, and should you be over the age of eighteen, you should find an adult way to handle it. If it comes down to it, Costco sells 36 rolls of toilet paper for nine dollars.

I do not condone that kind of behavior thought (fake serious face, with underlying truth to the statement -- I may have in high school).

So here’s the thing about coming home for the holidays well after graduating from college:

You start to find out who the real people in your life are. It becomes simple; you learn your passions, your convictions your true morals, beliefs and values. Take the time to do this. And you find those that support you in your life. And those to return support to as well. Even within your family, you find a deeper kind of kinship that only the two of you will know.

Whoever it is, you can tell by the glisten in their eyes

I am lucky and not only have a big family family, but a huge sized friend family too. And over the years it has lost a few members I am sure, but the important ones stay, and the important ones are always added too.

It excites me the way this new year has started. We are only three days in and already, I have learned so much, met so many new people, and rekindled old friendships i have missed. 

 Finding the rhythm is the hardest part. 

Game Changers

Things they are a changing. Or I'm finding cool new (old) stuff that is awesome. 

Pickybars.

WHAT! These are amazeballs… And I am not just saying that because my old high school teammate Anna, works for them now. Or that their sweatshirt is one of the comfiest I own, or that I now have a pint glass from them. WHAT WHATTTTT!

DELICIOUS. They don’t sit in my stomach like a rock, so for those early morning runs (which admittedly, it has been a lil’ bit) they are nice quick go-to before the workout. A cool review is in the works. Just saying, be on the lookout home-skillets. 

Oiselle.

Holy crap, female runner friends. Screw it. ANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS WHO LIKE NICE THINGS. Which, is every one of you. Share with you wives, girlfriends, family members, males. This is on you.

Quality materials, comfortable, non-chafing, stylish. Right now, I have mainly worn my clothes for fashion related events, or daily wear. (I snorted when I said “fashion related.” I mean really??? Me??) But I love it. It completes my outfit, and who does not like my new bird/feather print obsession. Look out world. And what they have done for not only women's running and athletics, but our running world in general, truly astounding. Attention is drawn and we are on the forefront of some amazing stuff. Cannot wait. Reviews to follow. :)

Reading.

A classic and old stand-by. But I have found a new passion for it since I have seen my writing improve. You may not notice, but word-choice has now been a more thought provoking act as I sit down and muster out some semblance of words that mya or may not make sense to the great masses that flock to my blog I am sure. J Oh happy day! See what I did there?

My new friends.  And old ones too. Just my friends in general.

Well by now they are no longer new. Recently a discussion was had how weare no longer in the “Honeymoon Period” and are now able to act as if we have been around each other for years. But are still constantly learning and growing from one another, gaining new knowledge of one another everyday.

conner joseph took this picture!

And people who are willing to wake up at five in the morning to run. Not even wake up at five, actually RUN at five. They are my friends. I am SO LUCKY to have them.

And everyone I was able to reconnect with this short vacation home. I wish there was more time. Or two of me.

Yoga.

Again another stand-by, but I have decided to become more active and committed to it. In past years I noticed an improvement in my lifestyle and in my running when I was regularly practicing. So bring it on twentyfourteen.

My newly founded because really I had to gluten free lifestyle, while moving more vegan too.

Yup. Gluten makes my tummy hurt. And it doesn’t make others around me very happy when I am grumpy and bloaty. Nope. Not really. I get flu-like symptoms and achey bones. And even this Christmas couldn’t eat dinner because I had “poisoned” myself earlier in the week from eating some gluten.  I MISSED CHRISTMAS DINNER GUYS! GAH!

But I feel better when I am not eating it. So that’s good. And I like vegetables. But I really like cheese, so that’s what is holding me back. Maybe one day. And then that turns into one day a week. And from there is a Vegan-ado.

Goals.

When I first moved to Spokane, I had a lot of goals and aspirations. And then after my first year, I kind of let them all slip aside. And now, new, refreshed and ready to tackle anything, I wrote them out. And I have to look at them daily. So here we go.

What’s your plan for the year?